Pharmacist! Pharmacist!! Pharmaaaaciiist!!! My banker neighbour’s voice jolted me out of the brain rehearsal I was doing in preparation for my presentation at the teaching hospital that morning. I wound down the glass and asked the driver to stop the car engine that was warming up to hit the street. Mrs Funto was waving a piece of paper which she also used to fan herself as she approached. I do usually tease her of her overweight.
Mrs. Funto: (panting) Am sorry, I wanted to ask you about it yesterday but you looked tired when you came back. Are you in a hurry? would it be better when you come back?
Me: Depends on what it is
Mrs. Funto : It’s my son Dele. He is almost 9 years now but he is still bed-wetting. His sister is just five and she has stopped. We have tried so many therapy but nothing seems to work. In 2months now he ll be going to a boarding house for his secondary school. I don’t want him to be the laughing stock of his school. His father keeps insisting he must be a boarder.
Me: Enuresis! The background to my drug presentation this morning. what a coincidence!
Mrs. Funto: You have come with this your medical tongue again. Anyway, I called my sister yesterday. she is a doctor. Remember the one that visited us last Christmas
Me: Yeess? (watching my time)
Mrs Funto: She said I should get one drug like that de..si..mo..person (glancing at the piece of paper she had turned to a hand fan)
Me: Laugh uncontrollably at her wrong pronunciation and spelling of the drug
Mrs Funto: Ah Ah. what is funny now. Abi I no get am? Abeg no be my field. You know the drug abi? she said you can advise me on the drug and other choices I may have. what is the right pronunciation sef
Me: Mrs Funto you ll not kill me. I actually have some samples of the drug from my company I want to share at the clinical meeting this morning. (picking a sample) Here, see for yourself
Mrs Funto: Okaayy! I think it is best to wait for you to come back so you can cool down and explain it to me.
Me: Wise choice! Driver, we are good to go
Driver: Oga, abeg wetin be the name of that drug. E be like say my daughter get the same problem. Her own worse self. she don reach 20 years o